I’m Not A Funny Person // The Entertainer Award

I’m not a funny person.

The highlight of my would-be funny person career was when I was nine years old and I cracked some super lame joke about sheep at Sunday School. That was definitely one of the Top Three defining moments of my life (up there with giving birth and getting married). And even then, I think only about two people laughed, and one might have been a cough – it was hard to tell.

When it comes to telling jokes or being funny, I’m much better at being the one who is laughing rather than the one making people laugh. This is a problem. How am I supposed to make the characters in my WIP fall in love and be cutesy without witty banter? WITTY BANTER IS THE KEY TO SAILING SHIPS, PEOPLE. And since I’m about as good at writing jokes as I am at shoveling sand with a rubber duck, I think all my characters may be doomed to dry, non-sarcastic relationships (Laini Taylor teach me your wayyyyyyys!).

That being said, the irony is not lost on me that I was nominated for The Entertainer Award by the lovely and most wonderful Erin @ Pages of Milk and Honey. I see a theme going on here; we’ve got waffles, milk, honey….it’s like breakfast!

Anyways, I guess some kind soul out there in the black void must have thought my horrible waffle puns were redeemable or else I wouldn’t have been nominated for this award. Watch out folks – I think my small ego grew three sizes.

The Rules

• Thank the person who nominated you and add a link to their blog.
• Add the rules so others can follow.
• Answer the questions that have been asked.
• Nominate a handful of entertaining bloggers.

If you could play any fictional character in a film adaptation, who would it be?

Ginny Weasley, hands down. SHE IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL. I’ve dressed up as her for Halloween at least a dozen times. She’s a ginger (like me) and was an Awkward Child™ (like me – except she grew out of it and I didn’t). Plus, then Fred and George would be my fictional brothers, and JUST THINK of all the mischief I would get to be a part of on set.

Which two characters would you want to be your parents, if you had to replace your own?

So, actually I would choose one character instead of two and it would have to be Michelle Benoit (Scarlet’s grandmother from The Lunar Chronicles) because she’s a TOTAL BA who decided, “Meh, why not become a farmer?” And then she did. Plus, she taught Scarlet how to shoot a pistol at a very young age. These are true parenting goals. Y’all should be taking notes.

What is one genre/trope/theme that you would love to read more about, but are struggling to find books on?

This is such a perfectly perfect question for me right now because I actually just wrote a whole entire post about this. I would love to read more New Adult Fantasy (sans erotica) where the main characters are college students. I’ve always found that all the exciting stuff in books always happens to high schoolers. Why is it that as soon as a character hits the big 2-0 that all of that goes away? Are you only magical as a teenager?

I think Monica Borg says it best:

Would you rather stay in your own world, or choose a fictional world to visit and never return?

If I was more adventurous, I would say the second option. But sadly, my idea of being adventurous is choosing a flavor I haven’t tried before at Baskin Robbins. So, hard nope. Adventure and fictional worlds, although exciting to read about in books, would be less glorious in actuality. I mean, just think about it – if you attended Hogwarts, there would be obscene amounts of homework to complete, all-nighters to pull, exams to study for and ultimately fail. If you visited Middle Earth, there would be no indoor plumbing, no air conditioning, no new ice cream flavors to feel anxious about trying. *whispers* No waffles. 

Plus, if I went traversing off to visit a fictional world and never returned, I’d be leaving behind my family. MY!! FAMILY!! Guys, despite the fact that I read a whole bunch of dark and gritty fantasy novels, I’m actually a big softie – I CRY IF MY HUSBAND HAS TO GO AWAY ON A BUSINESS TRIP OKAY??? So, I’ll have to pass on giving up my family, my ice cream, and the beautiful invention of the air conditioner.

What time of day do you usually prefer to read?

I read whenever I get the chance, but as a mother of a young child, that “chance” is pretty hard to come by. Heck, I struggle to find a free moment to pee, let alone a moment to read.

Once the little man is asleep for the evening though, I like to do an emphatic (but quiet) victory dance with my husband (“We survived another day as parents!!!”) before cozying up under an Everest-worthy mountain of blankets with my current read. I find reading a great way to relax at the end of a long day. Maybe too relaxing because the moment I open up my book, I fall asleep. Like, it’s instantaneous. My brain just goes, “Oh, you’re reading? This is the perfect time for a system reboot. ”

When I wake up in the morning, I’m always livid with my brain: “COME ON! I just want to read more than two sentences of this book! STOP MAKING ME FALLING ASLEEP AT 9 O’CLOCK!”  As you can see, I lead a very exciting and adventurous life (For more details, Please refer back to my answer to the previous question).

Do you like bingeing a book series all at once, or stretching it out?

OKAY, CONFESSION TIME. I am horrible about reading series. Even if the first installment is the can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over- the-fence, World Series kind of book, it usually takes me a couple of months to pick up the second. I could try and cover this up by saying it’s all purposeful – that I’m trying to elongate my enjoyment of the series so that it doesn’t end too quickly. But if I’m honest, it’s because I love shiny new books and have the attention span of a teaspoon.

Thanks for the lovely questions, Erin! I had a waffle lot of fun answering them :))))))).

My Nominations:

So, the rules say that I should nominate, “a handful of entertaining bloggers,” but that doesn’t even make any sense because I don’t know about you, but I can hold a grand total of zero bloggers in my hand. But I digress.

Here are some blogs that make me clutch my sides from laughter, that make milk spurt out my nose, that make me laugh until I cry. You guys, please don’t feel obligated to do this award – I’m sure you’ve been nominated for it like….a million times. BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU MAKE ME LAUGH AND SMILE AND…HAPPINESS !!!

• May @ My 1st Chapter
• Malanie @ Malanie Loves Fiction
• Emma @ Emma Reads Too Much

My Questions:

• If you became THE SUPREME RULER OF THE UNIVERSE™, what would your first decree be?
• What is the most hilarious childhood memory that you can remember?
• Badly explain the book you are currently reading. (Okay, so technically this isn’t a question, but…..*shrugs*).
• You are about to get into a fight. What song plays in the background as your soundtrack?
• If you could kill off any character in the book you are currently reading, which character would it be?

What are some blogs that you find entertaining to read?

What are some tips to writing witty banter? ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

Would you say that you are a funny person?

Have you been nominated for the Entertainer Award before?